Wedding Season
In Ethiopia there is a season for weddings from mid January to mid February that coincides with a break in the fasting schedule. This way everyone can enjoy eating meat and dairy while celebrating the nuptials.
The First of Many Weddings
“Get in the car, we’re going to a wedding.” (roughly translated from Amharic)
When my friend tells me to get in the car, I get in the car. We drove off taking the backroads and cutting through shorn down teff fields—bewildered cows and donkeys staring as we went past. We stopped to pick some fresh chickpeas to snack on. We arrived at a small house nestled into a hill. I was led into a tent where we sat on benches and as all Ethiopian gatherings go, was given a plate full of food. This was the groom’s house and after everyone ate the groom’s family escorted us back to the cars, singing and playing drums, where we drove back to the bride’s house, as is custom for the groom to pick up the bride and continue the celebrations. At this point I excused myself from the revelers and made my way home.
The Wedding—Tasha’s Wedding
My dear friend Tasha found love in Ethiopia and was married in February. I was so lucky to be a part of the wedding party as a bridesmaid and experienced the celebration—a whirlwind over several days. I traveled to Tigray where Tasha lived and spent a few days with her preparing for the festivities.
Preparations
Despite being a part of many celebrations in Ethiopia, I had never seen an animal slaughtered before. The ox’s hooves were tied together so that it couldn’t move and it was slowly brought down to the ground with a defeated groan. The skin from its neck was cut away revealing pink flesh and its throat was cut; blood spilled into a hole that was dug in the earth. The windpipe exposed the ox’s breath wheezed for several minutes before finally rasping to a stop.
The women gathered for several days preparing pounds upon pounds of onions for all the meals that would be made for the multiple days of celebrating. I sat with the women and helped cut some onions while everyone chatted excitedly.
The groom’s mom was warm and welcoming. She has a stall in the market selling clothes and she gave me a scarf. She is also an incredible cook, making delicious shiro and hambasha, and cinnamon spiced tea. The groom’s aunt came from Washington DC for the wedding and quickly became an aunt to all of us. Tasha’s family also traveled from the US for the big day(s).
The night before the first day of the wedding, fellow Peace Corps volunteers arrived and we had a party with Tasha and the groom’s friends so that everyone could get to know each other before the more formal wedding celebrations.
Wedding Day 1
I spent the night at Tasha’s, her last night in her house before she would be moving in with her soon to be husband after the wedding, as is the tradition. We woke up in the dark morning, the sun just rising, as dogs and hyenas howled in the distance.
The bridal party went to Shire to have our hair styled. While waiting for everyone’s hair to be done we sat and drank coffee. A woman came into the hair salon and when she found out we were there for a wedding she insisted we come to her hotel to use her space to get ready. We accepted her kind invitation and went to her hotel to get dressed into our blue modern-day bridesmaid dresses. The woman made coffee and popcorn. The groom and the groomsmen arrived to take us back to his town for the wedding celebration. We threw popcorn at the groomsmen in a flirtatious effort of trying to pretend that the groom can’t take the bride (as part of wedding tradition). Then were whisked into cars speeding down the streets cars honking to announce that this was a wedding party.
We arrived at the hotel for the first celebratory meal which included our friend the ox that I had seen slaughtered the day before. It really was the most delicious ox I’ve had and I was thankful for the animal.
Then it was back in the cars to drive out to a field to take photos of the wedding party. The drive itself was a celebration as we drove through the town cars honking. Once we arrived we danced around the cars in circles while everyone cheered and clapped.
We then drove to the Groom’s house where hundreds of guests were waiting our arrival. A large canvas tent had been set up in front of the house. Guests sat on benches while the wedding party sat on a stage overlooking the guests. I had not been aware how much pageantry was involved and that as a bridesmaid I would find myself very much at the center of it. Arriving at the house was like an entourage
Everyone ate the delicious food that the Groom’s family had been preparing for days.
Afterwards there was a brief ceremony where the bride and groom exchanged rings. The wedding rings were washed in water and blessed, to signify that each person was coming to the marriage with purity and a clean heart.
Then there was a series of events which the bridesmaids and groomsmen had to complete and was carefully choreographed so that the photographers could capture each moment. We each ate a bite of cake, then we each had a glass of wine, pouring wine from glass to glass.
We danced late into the night. The groom’s little sister fell asleep in my arms. Finally we returned to the hotel and I collapsed into bed, realizing I had been awake for 22 hours.
Wedding Day 2
The next morning we went back to the groom’s home to gather together and his mom made us lunch of shiro, hambasha, and her famous cinnamon tea.
That evening we had a small gathering of friends, and the bridal/groom party to continue celebrating. We drank siwa a locally made beer distilled from barley.
Wedding Day 3—Melse
I woke up to an orange sun and the rush of adrenaline you get when you haven’t been sleeping. Why am I awake? I asked myself before quickly pushing myself out of bed to head over to the groom’s house for breakfast. His mom made ga’at which is a traditional dish, like a very thick porridge served with butter and spices.
The bridesmaids had our hair done in the traditional Tigray style of a crown of raised braids and thin, tight braids on the side that then disappear into a poof of tight curls. We also wore a more traditional white dress trimmed in black and gold.
For the final night of the wedding celebrations we walked through the town in a procession on the main road. We danced in a line as we made our way towards the hotel. Everyone was watching, people came to their doorways to see us parade by, it felt like we were celebrities or a royal family.
When we arrived in front of the hotel fireworks were set off and a ring of fire was lit on the ground, using a circle of oil. We then stepped inside and danced around the flames.
A sheep was brought in to be slaughtered. Inside the hotel there was more food to be eaten and photos to be taken. Around 2am there was a coffee ceremony where the bride served coffee to everyone. We continued dancing and dancing. Finally, drums were brought out and a final song and dance with the drums was performed. And with that, my once in a lifetime experience of my friend’s Ethiopia wedding was complete.
